The winter break has been more or less eventful.

I broke my arm snowboarding,

Cousins from Toronto came over,

Watched a shitload of movies at Wilsons,

Am now in a relationship with Wilson (hope that works out well),

The new years party at Mansi’s was pretty awesome,

Amanda’s end-of-vacation party was pretty awesome as well (not the puking part),

I tried a bunch of new drinks: long island, zombie, liquid cocaine, margarita, black russian, tequila sunrise… and everyone’s trying to make me accustomed to beer =.= which i find pretty damn nasty.

Isabelle is back early:) Everything in her blog is so so amazing. She’s experienced a new place with very beautiful scenery and new people, a different kind of lifestyle…  She’s had quite an adventure. I miss her and I really hope I get to catch up with her soon. Although school makes it hard to see people now.

I’ve kind of lost touch with people in these past few weeks Makes me sad. Darn it, I’ve lost the balance again. I’ve always found it hard to balance friends, school and the love life. I DESPISE not having that balance!

I’m planning to go to University of Waterloo for their Architecture program. My mom went over the cost of everything… Its 7K for tuition for a year (there’s 4 years in total), plus maybe 10K each year for room and board… I just realized how broke I am. I’m going to need to cut back on a lot of outings and frivolous expenses if I am to go to University.   Why can’t people see each other without spending money haha..

And here I am writing when I should be doing my homework. Oh I feel heavy with homework already.

There’s a lot to look forward to this year.

This is the first year that I start out with everything that I’ve always wanted. This the the first year that I’m exactly where I want to be.

I’ve been so busy lately Last night I went to sleep at 4am today because I was working on my final project (house model) . Woke up today with a sore body, sore throat and a slight headache but still went to school because I had to work on my project again and couldn’t afford to miss math class review for the exam…. I couldn’t go to Geoff’s  birthday today because I stayed after class till 6:30 to work on my project and I’m STILL not done… Chris Korah wanted to take me out to dinner for my birthday but I had to ask him for a raincheck because I’m way too busy. Isabelle is leaving on thursday and I have to study and cram and cram for me to be able to see her tomorrow… I do not have time to get my new phone as well… So I’m stuck with a phone that only texts… I did not have time for my family celebration of my birthday…

My lord my lord. My party was way too good to be true, I guess it had to be balanced out with this.

School ends on wednesday. In two days. I wish I could say that I’m excited, but I’m really not.

D: sighhh

Looking forward to the winter vacation that seems so far away… I hope it will be lovely In fact, I’m sure it will be lovely. HURRAY FOR A VISIT FROM MY JANET!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Its my birthday today. It doesn’t feel that special, I didn’t expect it to be. Well, other than people running up to me and giving me hugs and wishing me happy birthday ^_______^ haha Michelle started a whole chain reaction going in class, I swear they lined up to hug me XD Sweethearts <3 Wilson (hello if you’d ever read this lol) got me the x-mas gift I wished for! A cheap silver ring with the words “Love the life you’re living in” written on it Lol it was actually a dvd of … wait for it… THE NOTEBOOK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THE MOVIE THAT IVE WANTED TO SEE FOR MANY MANY YEARS!!!!!!!! SINCE IT CAME OUT LIKE 7 YEARS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!! But yeah I haven’t checked to see if it works or not yet. So it was a dvd with post-its on it that said “Love the life you’re living in”. Extremely thoughtful how he thought of putting two and two together! I also got a letter from Joseph, my Ottawa friend that I met in sec 2 He’s wonderful!! He wrote a bunch of nice things I don’t remember the last time I’ve gotten a letter like that. AW WHAT A SWEETIE PIE, MY MEESTER!!

JESUS CHRIST PLANNING A PARTY IS NUTS.

I can’t write anymore. I’m out!

So I was working today… Cute guy comes up to counter and asks to print out some pictures. They look like something a graphic designer would make, some of them being pretty hilarious. So I asked him if he was in graphic design to which he laughed and reponded, “No, I wanted to do photography but I’m a professional dancer.” Ooh lala. It was pleasant talking with him, I asked him what the story was behind the picture of him sprawled out on the floor with dvds around and underneath him. Pretty funny. I finish his copies and pointed to him where the trancheuse was. (the trancheuse wuuz HAHA trancheuse wuuz, trancheuse wuuz. fun to say) Then I thought to myself the things I usually think of. Which tells you nothing but I’ll tell you now. I thought to myself that the guy was really cute and I felt like he had a really good natured personality.

-See, whenever I have thoughts like this, I tell people what I think. I’d tell that lady that I thought she was beautiful and had a wonderfully bubbly personality. I’ll tell that guy that he’s funny. I’ll tell that girl that I think she’s strong on the inside. I’d tell the boy that he has a sick haircut…Only if I know they’d be humble about it. -

So I held my breath and went up to the dude and said, “I don’t see the point in thinking something nice about someone when you’re not going to say it, so… I’m going say that I think you’re very charming… and you’re a handsome young man. Haha!” He grinned and said, “Thank you very much!” I laughed again, turned around and went to the backroom for my 15 minute break. I thought to myself that I sounded like such an idiot for saying that… but it came out like that and I don’t regret saying it because it’s what I really thought. Though I could have said “… and you’re cute.” instead of “HANDSOME YOUNG MAN” HAHAHA I’m such a loser. But anyway, “handsome young man” did make it comical. I mentally facepalmed myself and then munched on chocolate sticks while watching Fresh Prince of Bel-Air.

When I came back from my break, I stared at the computer screen and at Steph P. while she served another customer. A yellow sticky note caught my eye.  It read in Steph P’s curly writing, “Oh lala Stef!” Attached to the sticky note was a little piece of carton cut straight with the trancheuse saying, “Jonathan Roumain. Facebook me ” I thought to myself, HIHIHIHIHI! I guess my retarded speech must have been charming.

Then I thought, the boys in my life come and go. They just come and go, and then come and go again. If I get close to one of them, chances are they like me. I’m not cocky but my confidante constantly telling me things like this has me assuming a little. :/ I don’t want to like someone for the wrong reasons. I don’t want to use anyone. I don’t want to waste their time. It’s extremely disappointing that guys drift away when they realize that nothing will happen… On the rare occasion there would be a really really decent guy who makes it difficult for me to say no. But there are things that I look for that the person might not have, and I don’t want that person to try to force themselves to change because of me.

Random Guy: “Hello, there It was nice meeting you.”

I think: “Hi, when are you going to fade out of my life?”

Will I find someone that’s truly good hearted, that has a lot of the things I look for in a partner and who would love me too? More and more I think to myself, “Right now in Cegep? Chances are, probably not.” But time will tell, and I will keep trudging on and on and on

I had my fitness appraisal today at 6pm. Balls. Big balls. I got average and above average in everything Amanda found it extremely amusing to see me trying to figure out how to do proper ’girl’ push ups (I still don’t know how)  HAHAHA I never do girl push ups XD

So. So. So. So. We had to get into groups of two to measure our waist and hips to calculate the waist-hip ratio. I’d typically pair up with Amanda (since we actually know each other) but I told her to pair up with the other Amanda SO THEY COULD BE TWO AMANDAAAS! And I paired up with the girl closest to me just cuz I noticed that we’re midgets

 So yeah me and my bright eyed bubbly brunette partner start talking. You know when you meet someone genuinely good you can just ‘feel’ it? This is what I felt with that girl. I always find it harder to become good friends with girls because a lot of them are very… dramatic… and it’s difficult to tell what they’re actually thinking… you know how some are bipolar when it comes to what they say and what they really mean. I’m a simple kind of girl, I don’t play games and I don’t want to guess and constantly analyze things that people say for the meaning behind it.

ANYWAYSSSS so this girl is in pollitical science and she makes videos of her discussion various whatever pollitical science people talk about and posts them on some kind of video sharing site (she has quite a few suscribers). THAT ALONE IMPRESSED ME. Maybe I’m just really enthusiastic and easy to impress, but I have no idea what pollitical science students do and DUDE, making a video isn’t very easy. Well sure, making just ANY video is easy, but when it comes to making a video and posting it online and having suscribers… It takes a certain kind of personality and smarts to make videos that people would actually FOLLOW and give really intelligent feedback to. You have to be witty, you have to be somewhat charming and outgoing, you have to have a strong point of view and have confidence in yourself. So yeah, I feel like this girl knows what she wants in life and nothing will stop her! I really admire that. She’s also very friendly and down to earth. I could tell a lot about her personality during our conversation and by observing today the way she interacts with other people in class. She’s intelligent and super interesting to talk to. Man, and she’s only 19… She must have a really awesome group of friends or very nurturing parents.

I’ve always wondered how people can like someone if they only met them once. It never made sense to me, but now that I find my judgements to be more or less reliable, it does. I am pretty sure if I was a guy I’d really like her. HAHA! She’s amazing. I invited her to my 18th birthday party next week. I bet if she knew I was writing about her, she’d be a little weirded out… I wonder, I wonder how long this girl is going to be in my life, or if she’s going to fade out… I hope not, I hope I can get to know her better ^^

This post is mostly for me. I’m pretty sure that anyone reading this wouldn’t think that this girl is that special, but it really is just a feeling. It isn’t everyday that I meet someone that really intrigues me. And I’m one hundred percent straight. Can’t a girl admire another? :3

Whatever decisions I make… I try to do the right thing. The right thing for me, the right thing for everyone. One of the hardest decisions that I had to make was about 9 months ago. Breaking up with my ex. It seems like my level of happiness just went down down down progressively. (On the bright side, I’ve made a shitloads of awesome friends) Neways, I’ve always been a firm believer of learning, letting things go… But now more and more I feel like I’m terribly lonely. I don’t think people have the slightest idea… because every single day I keep smiling and smiling. Its a genuine smile, but whenever I see happy couples, whenever I hear sad love songs, I think of better days. I’m the type of person who feels best in a relationship… but I won’t ever settle for less just because I’m lonely. Sure it might be tempting, but I think people who do that are ridiculous. Why start something that you know will fail and end up hurting you and that other person?

Its a silly thing to be sad about, its a silly thing to think about a lot… But I havent been single in the longest time… I started dating very early. So this is still new to me. Wow I can’t believe that it’s been 9 months without an awesome dude by my side. I can’t believe something so small is still affecting me. Can’t I be single and the happiest girl on the earth again?

Lately I’ve been trying to convince myself that everything will be alright, that I’ll meet someone soon… But every guy I meet who has an interest in me is lacking something that I’m looking for. I dont really believe in LOOKING for a guy. I think its just something that needs to happen naturally… By telling myself positive things, I feel like I’m jinxing myself.

 I used to believe that it was extremely uncharacteristic of myself to always feel down… I really hope that its still the case. I don’t want to be like this. I hate it. It’s not me, I hope it never will be something that defines me.

Happy Birthday Jonathan! Happy Birthday Sorabh!

:3 Vacation seems long… in the satisfying way. Amanda, Melanie, Janet and I went to Mt. Tremblant for 3 days and 2 nights. We went WHITE WATA WAFTING (103$), ziplining (28$), biking (12$ i fell down a steep hill with a sharp turn & acquired a hude scrape which my friends immediately started working on like 3 sexy nurses), hiking (0$ duh no shit), and hopping from jacuzzi to pool (ouch for my injury my face contorted in pain every time i went in). We got into a bar (Well, I got into a bar and said i forgot my ID while my 18 year old buddies flashed their cards. ehehe) We stared at the cute bartender & ordered fruity drinks for the 2 nights we were there. We vowed that we would all get some boy digits since we are all single and so not uglyyyyyyy. Mel had to get 1 number, 2 for me, and Amanda had to get 3. It didn’t work. So we said we’ll just get ONEEEE guys number. I mean c’mon, there were mostly families at Tremblant…. or so we kept telling ourselves LOL. When we came back by bus, we got desperate. I finally came up with the guts to talk to the guy in front of me but he didn’t speak english very well so conversation went kaput. Mel on the other hand, started a very interesting conversation with the cute guy in front of her by offering him carrots. He was very interesting and genuinely good… but hes 26 years old with forehead and eye wrinkles. ohohooo!! But whatever. Point is, Mel got his number. WOOOHOOOOOOO!!!! Mission accomplished.

When we got back to Manda’s house, we realized that Mt. Tremblant has left its mark on all of us. Amanda had 3 mosquito bites in the chest area (which are mistaken for hickeys), Janet had a bruise on her ass and I had a scraped up calf. Melanie (the only one who doesn’t wear contacts) calls later on to tell us that she has an eye infection. Good grief. Can’t wait for the next trip